Entries from September 2009 ↓

not so very long ago, badannie had that talk with herself. about how, at this age, she was never going to see single digits again, and I was going to learn to be okay with that.

then badannie joined weightwatchers, briefly, just to kickstart the diet. and started going to the gym. then i ditched the gym for bootcamp. love bootcamp.

badannie just bought a pair of size 6 jeans. i’m not a 6 everywhere, more of an 8 overall, but i bought a pair of size 6 gap jeans. and they fit.

badannie is pretty damn proud of myself. i had to add my first positive tag for this post.

blood. and i wanted this why?

badannie had, well, a date with b-boy. we arranged to meet several days ahead of time. he came over sober. i cooked dinner, we watched tv, had sex, he went home. kind of nice, kind of weird. for now, i’m still thinking of it as a variation on the booty call. we’ll see.

sex, by the way? best ever. i’m not kidding. i’ve never come like that with a partner. he and his tongue are welcome over for dinner any time.

he was asking earlier for me to masturbate so he could watch. i declined but only because i really wanted him to touch me. now, i think he’s earned his watch… next time…

although: still hasn’t fucked me. if sex wasn’t so good without it i’d press the issue more, but it’s definitely bugging me.

b-boy also checked in. might end up 3 for 4 nights this week.

last night? ex-boy. in town for the last two weeks. did I mention I like sex?

still no blood but doctor says there’s nothing wrong. went to go see her about WTF happened that we’re still not talking about and while I was there, she confirmed I’m not pregnant and not menopausal and don’t have any diseases they test for. so everything’s fine, I’m just not menstruating. they want to induce one if it goes another month. wtf.

Could not have run into more people on my way home in last night’s clothes. Seriously.

this is sex and longing and comfort. that’s all.