Going for it

I saw the beautiful boy again on Sunday. Drank a little too much, ate nothing at all, silly. Back in the sex den, I may have wore him out. I fucked him like I was in love with him — which, for a moment, I sort of was. Haven’t heard from him since. Bet I scared him off. Still glad I went for it, though; better to find out now if he can’t keep up.

I sent G. a text today asking if he wants to get together next week. I’m tired of waiting around to see if he’s going to reach out again. It’s okay if he’s done, I just want to hear it so I can move on. And if he’s not, well, I’d like to see him. So there. [Update: 9pm and haven’t heard from him. And I’m embarrassed that I care, but I do. I deserve better.] [Update 2: 10pm and he’d love to. Happy again.]

J2 is getting annoying again. He’s in a better mood, worked out some of his shit, re-enrolled in college, figuring out the work stuff. Happy for him but kind of over this whole thing now.

Tex is still sweet but starting to act like I’m the girlfriend. Check please! If he figures out the sailboat thing, I’ll decide if I want to go, but I still love NYC and I’m probably not going anywhere.

J. only wants me for threesomes. yawn.

I think I’m going to break up with all of them before I go to Italy, clear the slate, come home and find a real boyfriend. And a real job.