No bullshit

b-boy comes through, and although it’s not great, it’s enough to pull me out of this slump. again. he was late & drunk & didn’t even make me come, but he wanted to be here with me and was so into what i was doing, it was okay.

me: “is this ok?”
him: “this is great . there’s these other girls –you could teach workshops.”

ok, ignoring the ‘other girls’ thing –because really, who wants to know — i’m focused on the ‘i’m good at it’ part and i’m happy again.

he almost even entered me. but he came on my ass, the way he likes, and then he fell asleep. on top of me. i finally wriggled out to the side, and we slept there next to each other. first time since the first time that he’s slept over. he claims he didn’t sleep well, but he snores and I can tell you, he slept.

i didn’t mind it a bit.

i don’t hear from b-boy for, like, weeks on end. i’m in the sloughs of despond over ex-boy and i can’t even get laid.

where did we leave off? ex-boy arrives, fucks me, then tells me about the new girl he’s dating. wtf. not that i wouldn’t have fucked him anyway, i probably would have, but it should have been my choice. i spend the entire long weekend miserable. he’s fine in the morning until the west coast wakes up, then he’s insufferable until bedtime, when he wants to have sex again. fml.

somewhere during or after that weekend i realized it’s long past time to end this. maybe everyone else on earth already knew that, but really, my feelings only need to get hurt a couple of dozen times before I sort that out.

and i spend the next few weeks completely miserable. do we really need to hear about that?

fml. seriously.

can’t talk about it now

not that i’m not fine with ex-boy dating. i am. but he’s been here a couple of hours, he’s going to completely disrupt my life & schedule, and all he can talk about is the new girl he’s about to start dating. they haven’t even dated yet. fml.

Bad Annie knows that I normally only post bitchiness. But I’m a little wine-buzzed and really happy and thought it would be nice just to say that tonight. I love my friends. I love my neighborhood. I love my building. I love my apartment.

I was in the shower after Bootcamp, soaping up, and reached around to my ass– and I missed. Because it was a couple of inches smaller than it used to be. I mean, really. Wow.

Can’t I figure out a way to a) sustain this and b) find someone to share it with?

much better – a text during the sox game, came over after. watch porn, have sex, go home. didn’t think i was going to come, some days it’s just elusive, but he’s persistent and yes, still quite good. I did let him watch for a little while first, after he brought it up; i was still feeling grateful for that killer orgasm last time. he still won’t fuck me, but i guess i’m just going to have to find someone else for that, no point if he’s just not into it.

I have a sense of his taste from the fast-forwards through cinemax now; maybe i’ll go get something nice for next time. (girl on girl, at least one with large natural breasts, for those interested.)

It wasn’t intentional, but I’d gotten up late and dressed in a hurry and by the time I realized they were crotchless tights it was too late to change. So I went to work in crotchless tights. Definitely upped the game in concentrating through meetings.