All that said, FF1 is still my favorite. I love sex with him, and I’m truly fond of him.

Did I mention that FF2 has a magic penis? I mean, I’ve had my share of dick, but I didn’t believe similar reports before: a dick’s a dick, right? but now that I’ve experienced it…

It’s sometimes a little painful – I don’t know if it’s size or shape, but it hits something inside me that’s sensitive. If it hits just right, it’s amazing. If it hits slightly wrong, it can hurt. We’ve had some fun figuring out positions. Good thing he’s been doing Pilates.

And then there were two. I know, it seems like a bad idea, right? at the same time it sounds like a really good idea, right? Right.

#2 is totally different than the favorite #1, but he’s more accessible, in spite of most likely probably married (says he’s separated, whatever). But super fun as well.

Wish me luck, dear reader.

Me: Fuck me
Him: Let me get a condom
Me: Wow you really are sober