And then there were two. I know, it seems like a bad idea, right? at the same time it sounds like a really good idea, right? Right.

#2 is totally different than the favorite #1, but he’s more accessible, in spite of most likely probably married (says he’s separated, whatever). But super fun as well.

Wish me luck, dear reader.

Sexually, he’s attentive and highly skilled. He cares about my pleasure. He takes his own, easily and without fuss or challenge. His body is close to physically perfect. I love the sight of him. I find it hard to sleep next to him. He’s always polite, never assuming. He always wears a condom (except that once, when he was really, really drunk). He’s funny, and he tells me stories. I enjoy his company. We want nothing more from each other than the pleasant company we keep.

Summer’s over and G. called up for a dinner date, the son now safely ensconced up at university. Dinner, a drink back at his place, stayed over as usual but he didn’t fuck me. I sucked him for a while, and he liked it but didn’t come, and he barely fondled me. He did, however, bring me a gift from Paris, and invite me up to his country place. I think he’s just getting older. Not sure how I feel about this change – it’s not like I like him so much that a sex-less relationship is going to cut it.

I’m vaguely disturbed by my continuing attraction to 27 yr olds. I volunteer weekends with this beautiful man and often partner with him on jobs. We were hanging drywall on a ceiling, a difficult task made tricky by some unique logistics, and at one point he climbed up on my ladder and leaned into/over me to reach a spot with the screw drill, and I almost forgot to breathe. Ha.

whew, it had been a few weeks and I was getting worried that turning fifty meant I wasn’t going to get laid any more. But thankfully Mr. Fireman has just been busy and he swung by for a quickie on his way home from Queens. I am indeed geographically desirable…  I was just out of the bath when he texted, all warm and soft and clean. love that man, love that body.

Gentle reader, it’s been a while, and I don’t know why. I am always better off when I share. Here’s the latest – dates with parents and children:

G. rang me up recently and had me join him for dinner with his son. We had a nice evening, went home separately. I couldn’t tell if it was a grownup “here’s how to be a man in the city” educational date for the kid, or an audition to see which of the women the kid likes. Maybe both? Maybe neither? All okay and pleasant nevertheless. I have seen him I think once since that last post, sushi again, way too many cocktails, heroic blowjob (he really is massive), uncomfortable sleepover and a giant hangover. Just saying, hanging out with the kid and going home wasn’t so bad.

Still hanging out with the boyfriend, though I’m 99% over having sex with him. Maybe we really can be friends. His parents were in town this week, and it’s his birthday today, so he had a group dinner thing and invited me. I spent most of the evening talking with his mom, whose company I really liked. She’s an artist and we chatted about her latest project and sipped wine, and it was nice.

Fireman’s still my #1 fave, he’s been working shifts downtown so I get to see him more often again. I’ve no idea how long I’ll be able to keep this up but I’m in for the full ride as long as it lasts.

No newbies on the horizon. I should probably work on that. Re-reading the above, all I’ve really got going on is Fireman, and that is too sporadic to sustain me. I’ve been daydreaming about having him move in, or needing some paperwork technicality to get married, something that makes this important or official or whatever. I should be careful with that.

Oh and I’m a tiny bit obsessed with this beautiful 27 yr old Puerto Rican man I volunteer with. I want to find a beautiful girl for him and be godmother to their babies. Okay, I really just want to fuck him, but since that’s bordering on creepy, maybe I should find out if he has an uncle or something.

So in truth, dear reader, this update simply means nothing at all has changed.

I’ve been seeing Mr. Firefighter a little more often than usual, which of course makes me happy. Up until now, our relationship has been very straightforward, almost transactional. For two years, since the day I met him, I’d never even seen him outside my apartment. He arrives, we have a great time, he stays over or doesn’t, thanks.

But then once or twice recently he texted ahead of time, actually made arrangements in advance to stay over. Okay, that was cool. and then, a week or so ago, he got to the neighborhood before I did and went down to the corner bar to have a drink. When I got here, he sent a couple flirty texts and then offered to have me come meet him there. What? well, okay, I put my panties on and hopped on down there. We had a couple of beers, talked, and then came home and fucked. It was almost like… a date. It was nice.

And he texted me merry christmas.

Maybe nothing’s changed, maybe this is just an acknowledgement that we’re grownups and we like each other’s company in addition to fucking. But yeah, I like it.

I’ve gotten a surprising amount of action in the boot-cast. Fireman stopped in twice — yeah he couldn’t care less about a cast — and slept over once. I don’t always sleep well when he’s here but I love it when he stays over, that much testosterone at rest is just amazing. We fucked twice, as usual, but then a third time (since we had time), and I guess he’d only brought two condoms, so he fucked me without one the third time. Pulled out, of course, because I think he doesn’t know I’m already post-menopause, but given what I imagine to be his active sex life, I was surprised. It was kind of great.

Kyle also came by, once for the usual quick fuck and once to hang out, have dinner, watch a movie and have sex. I have to say, Fireman may be my favorite, but for actual quality of sex, Kyle’s the best. There’s just something about the way we move together, i just kind of melt into him, it’s much more sensual than with anyone else. In spite of the fact that I think he’s made of 99% bullshit. I was fingering his ass with his cock in my mouth, and he was so open, so into it, we talked about it later, and he’d really like me to get some toys and get more assertive with fucking him. I haven’t really done that before, but I’ll give it a shot. His responsiveness arouses me, it would be worth exploring how that goes.

Boyfriend also got drunk one night last week and started drunk-sexting me. It was funny because I was at dinner with a friend and was just passing him my phone to look at something when the “I want to cum inside you” text came through. Whoopsies. I thought about putting him off but I wanted the company, so he showed up to drunk-fuck. I have to admit, I don’t really love sex with him, we really probably should stop that. But I do love his company, and the next morning we ordered in breakfast and watched a nice quiet movie and cuddled on the couch for a few hours, it was really gentle and nice.

No moral in this post, just funny they seem to come in waves. J. is talking about getting together for a ‘drink’ soon too, and new guy B. — older, musician, very sweet — wants to follow up first date with a dinner thing.  When it rains it pours…

I texted the boyfriend yesterday and asked him to come by, and he promptly made plans to stop in tonight. Brought flowers, ordered dinner in with me, watched three episodes of The Good Wife. I know that being friends is the right thing to do, and I’m really trying not to be petulant, so I figured just telling him that I wanted to see him was better than sitting here with hurt feelings. I was right.

I sort of have a boyfriend. We agreed we’d keep things casual but I don’t know what that means. He’s not seeing anyone else and i haven’t since this started. Well, okay, the fireman once, but that was early on. We went away together for the July 4th weekend, we go on actual dates, and we’re also okay running into each other and not going home together. He’s also a local at my bar (open again! yay!), which both of us swore we’d never do, but here we are. Still seeing each other. He’s only 35, which makes me nervous, and I don’t know if he knows how old I am. It’s now been long enough I don’t want to bring it up, but what if he doesn’t and it’s weird? My birthday is coming up soon so I guess it’ll come up then.

G. got in touch last week after months of no contact. I asked the girls at the hair salon about dating other people. Amanda said I should do what makes me happy which is, of course, the only answer.

We hadn’t communicated well the past few days, so I agreed to G.’s date, but I’m going to cancel. Last night I went over to the boyfriend’s place and we had amazing, caring, beautiful sex. Napped and then fucked again. He didn’t sleep well, got up eventually and went to the couch. I felt a bit bereft and ended up leaving early, around 6, to come home. Nevertheless, it was a lovely night, and I don’t think I want to see G. tonight. I’m going to lie and put it off, defer a decision instead of making one. It’s cowardly but I want to keep my options open.