Nice date with G., as planned we ordered in thai food, watched a movie, fucked. Sex and affection are nice, but this isn’t love.

He’s going to spend christmas through new years in kent with his son – Bad Annie needs to look for another new year’s date. I’m okay with it, though; our relationship is nice, comfortable and without expectation. Guess it’ll stay that way.

I almost bought him a Christmas present. I couldn’t imagine that he planned to exchange gifts, but I got nervous. I brought a bottle of champagne and then chickened out on going to the store in Soho — and glad I did, there was absolutely no need.

He does have a giant cock. Not to mention the thickest one — feels amazing inside me. He’s so big, it’s practically heroic going down on him. Speaking of which, I have been maligning him, at least in my head, thinking that he never goes down on me. He did last night and I remembered he has before, just not every time. He’s not very good at it, but seriously, with that dick, who needs to be. He had some trouble staying hard, first time with me. I’m chalking it up to the wine. I didn’t think we drank that much – the champagne, and a bottle of Napa cab – but I’m a tad hungover this morning, so it must have been more than nothing. Still a fine, fuckable evening.

As usual when I’m with him, I didn’t check my phone/email even once until this morning. Funny he’s the only one who gets that respect/attention from me. Texts and email from K., probably wondering where I was. Yikes, gotta deal with that. Please tell me I’m not desperate enough to continue this just so I don’t spend New Year’s alone. Though as I write this, Trainer Girl just messaged me on OKC — maybe I’ll see what she’s up to. Doesn’t fucking a 28-year-old girl from New Jersey who just broke up with her boyfriend sound like a much better plan?

why am I suddenly thinking about love, though? is this just rebound emotions?

OK, so I don’t always exercise good judgment. Ended up out with K. twice more that week — once to see Broken Bells, great show, and again Friday night. First impressions still hold, though: he’s looking for a girlfriend, I’m looking for an exit strategy. He’s had a vasectomy, hence him not being worried about getting me pregnant. Still weird, though, and entirely inappropriate for someone as active as I’ve been lately (although I’ve been very safe elsewhere).

After my foot surgery (more on that later), he came by to keep me company Saturday night… yes, I asked him, I guess I just needed to play this out. He confided his growing interest in me, really wants me to reciprocate. I keep putting him off but realize I’ll have to address it asap.

In the meantime, pushed for a rescheduled date with G., who seems so much more appealing right now. Together, nice big dick, no complications. We’re going to spend an evening in at his place, order in, watch a movie.

Tomorrow, I’ll deal with K. Can’t let this go to the holidays; he should have a chance to try to drum up something else. I have a feeling this is going to be bad though. I should have ended it already but there is a part of me that likes him. If he was willing to keep it casual and just become part of the repertoire, it’d be really fun. Oh well – can’t always get what you want. If it’s all or nothing, I’m voting nothing.

Ta for now, dear readers. Bad Annie’s gotta get ready for her date.

Finally hooked up with K. He sent me an invite through a dating site – kinda funny. I took it as meaning he wanted me to have no doubt of his intentions. Turns out he’s been in a rough patch lately. He seemed in need of some female companionship, so I stepped in.

Not so great, as I could have guessed. Didn’t like using a condom and in a spectacular lack of judgment, I agreed. Can’t do that again. (p.s. just determined not pregnant from before, do I have to worry again?)

He wasn’t so into fucking at all, though. Much more interested in pleasing me, which would have been nice if I’d been more sober. Finally had to tell him to hold it until morning… so he woke me up softly fingering me. Actually very nice – I’d already decided the only way out of this was forward. He was pleased I finally came but then immediately started up again, had to tell him once more to take a break.

Worried he actaully likes me. I really don’t want to repeat this.

G. spent the holiday with his sister, finally texted me Weds. E. was with family then friends this weekend, only replied after my second text. Ex-boy spent the day with his new squeeze but couldn’t tell me about it until after.

Guess I am just the girl they fuck sometimes. Is it too much to ask for a little friendship and decency along the way?

texted g. early in the day – i think the first time i’ve reached out to him first. haven’t heard back. i decided to pretend it was a phone problem and texted him the same message a few minutes ago. nothing yet. hope he’s just busy.

stopped by the shop and saw e., but the store was busy, i think it’s hard for him to see me when he’s got other things on his mind. will text him later and see what’s up for the weekend. hope it was just the store and not anything else on his mind.

but on the brighter side, got an IM from j. this afternoon wishing me a happy thanksgiving. he really has just been busy. he said i was ‘dam good’ in bed, ‘wet and tight and positive.’ big smiles from me. vague promises all around about spreading some holiday cheer – now there’s something to look forward to.

oh, and i gave my phone number to l., former colleague who’s become a bit closer via facebook. what the hell.

1. pretty sure I’m not pregnant. took a home test last week, negative. it was only at two weeks, though, so I’ll do another one this week just to be safe. hugely relieved. also – to be honest – a tiny bit disappointed. i really, really, don’t want a baby or another abortion, but maybe i’m a tad sad that i probably actually can’t. how fucked up is that.

2. saw the lad a second time. he walked in the door and just fucking seduced me. almost didn’t make it out of the doorway. wow. after, opened a bottle of wine but then decided to go out down the block and have a beer. nice to be out with him, nice to be seen (!) on the block with him. very, very nice to fuck him. in the morning, ended up in a crazy yoga sex position, my poor hip flexors but yeah. wow.

3. still seeing G. as well. i don’t know why it surprises me, but it does. he’s very sweet, considerate, always walks me downstairs to get a cab in the morning, loves showing off his new apartment stuff. last week, new paintings, he has good taste. easy enough i suppose when you have that kind of money. did i mention he spent 2.1 million on the apartment? cash? i’m surprised i care, but i do. lovely break of dawn morning sex too, I think the best to date with him, very relaxed and sexy.

4. still think i need to work out a girl date. i like these guys but i’m not having enough orgasms with them.

5. oh. fucked ex-boy again, this time at the river after our hosts went to bed. he’s seeing someone now, too. no idea why we keep doing this.

I’m dating the 51-yr-old G. and now the 28-yr-old E. That enough of a spread for you? yes, only once so far with E., but I stopped by the store and saw him today and his face lit up, gave me a big hug. It might be wrong, but I really do like that boy. He’s very special and I will do my best to respect that and do the right thing by him.

But I’d still do J. in a heartbeat if he called, still trying to work out one of the two girl dates, wouldn’t mind seeing K. if we ever sort that out, and basically can’t seem to help myself around anyone remotely sexual.

Guess things will calm down for a few weeks after my foot surgery. Probably not a bad thing at all.

Did I mention he’s 28?

Saw G. again on Weds, after Bootcamp. We went to a wine bar across the street from his apartment, nice, then up to the new apartment so he could show me the progress the designer had made. We decided to inaugurate the place. On the couch, then in the window, Standard style. Morning sex again back in the rental downstairs. He loosened up a bit, turns out he likes sticking his finger in my ass while he’s fucking me, I bet it’s because he can feel his cock (or the effect thereof) from the other side. I still haven’t come with him, but the fucking is nice.

So… he does have that giant cock, and after three goes in six hours, I have to say, I was actually a little sore.

We were up until 2, got up at 7, worked all day, went to the website launch party then wine dinner with friends. Adorable boy from the wine store was there- made my night.

Actually, it made my night later when we were packing up and he said he didn’t want me to leave. So I asked him to join me for a drink and yes, I took the lad home.

Young and sweet and enthusiastic and happy to be with me – skilled and concerned that I was enjoying myself. Another gigantic cock, his uncircumcised, so sensitive but did I mention I was already sore from the night before? Had to alter position a couple of times, it really felt like my cervix was bruised. Yipes. Another night up until 2, though he couldn’t stay over.