Did I mention that ex-boy is moving back? probably in June. I seriously need to be having regular sex with someone else by then. Preferably someone I can drag out to the occasional party where there are mutual friends.

He was in town this week to see family and start sorting out move plans. Almost didn’t see him — we had made plans for dinner Weds that he cancelled on Tues, and I was supposed to be away for the weekend. My plans changed and I relented, we had dinner Fri. Didn’t fight, didn’t cry after, honestly, didn’t really care. I think that now that I don’t want to have sex with him any more, the rest of it doesn’t really matter. I am relieved.

Did I mention Bad Annie went on a date? a real date, like a real girl. Met him at the usual bar on the night of the big snowstorm. He followed up the next week, made plans ahead of time, put some thought into where we went, paid for the drinks, walked me to the subway, somewhat chaste kiss good-night, called the next day, texted a ‘good weekend’ after. Oh, I’m not at all into him, but it’s very, very nice to be able to say my last date was last week instead of 22 years ago.

b-boy comes through, and although it’s not great, it’s enough to pull me out of this slump. again. he was late & drunk & didn’t even make me come, but he wanted to be here with me and was so into what i was doing, it was okay.

me: “is this ok?”
him: “this is great . there’s these other girls –you could teach workshops.”

ok, ignoring the ‘other girls’ thing –because really, who wants to know — i’m focused on the ‘i’m good at it’ part and i’m happy again.

he almost even entered me. but he came on my ass, the way he likes, and then he fell asleep. on top of me. i finally wriggled out to the side, and we slept there next to each other. first time since the first time that he’s slept over. he claims he didn’t sleep well, but he snores and I can tell you, he slept.

i didn’t mind it a bit.

i don’t hear from b-boy for, like, weeks on end. i’m in the sloughs of despond over ex-boy and i can’t even get laid.

where did we leave off? ex-boy arrives, fucks me, then tells me about the new girl he’s dating. wtf. not that i wouldn’t have fucked him anyway, i probably would have, but it should have been my choice. i spend the entire long weekend miserable. he’s fine in the morning until the west coast wakes up, then he’s insufferable until bedtime, when he wants to have sex again. fml.

somewhere during or after that weekend i realized it’s long past time to end this. maybe everyone else on earth already knew that, but really, my feelings only need to get hurt a couple of dozen times before I sort that out.

and i spend the next few weeks completely miserable. do we really need to hear about that?

not that i’m not fine with ex-boy dating. i am. but he’s been here a couple of hours, he’s going to completely disrupt my life & schedule, and all he can talk about is the new girl he’s about to start dating. they haven’t even dated yet. fml.

much better – a text during the sox game, came over after. watch porn, have sex, go home. didn’t think i was going to come, some days it’s just elusive, but he’s persistent and yes, still quite good. I did let him watch for a little while first, after he brought it up; i was still feeling grateful for that killer orgasm last time. he still won’t fuck me, but i guess i’m just going to have to find someone else for that, no point if he’s just not into it.

I have a sense of his taste from the fast-forwards through cinemax now; maybe i’ll go get something nice for next time. (girl on girl, at least one with large natural breasts, for those interested.)

badannie had, well, a date with b-boy. we arranged to meet several days ahead of time. he came over sober. i cooked dinner, we watched tv, had sex, he went home. kind of nice, kind of weird. for now, i’m still thinking of it as a variation on the booty call. we’ll see.

sex, by the way? best ever. i’m not kidding. i’ve never come like that with a partner. he and his tongue are welcome over for dinner any time.

he was asking earlier for me to masturbate so he could watch. i declined but only because i really wanted him to touch me. now, i think he’s earned his watch… next time…

although: still hasn’t fucked me. if sex wasn’t so good without it i’d press the issue more, but it’s definitely bugging me.

last night? ex-boy. in town for the last two weeks. did I mention I like sex?

it’s entirely possible. since this blog now seems to be entirely focused on my getting laid, well, I saw him again last night. he needs a name here. booty boy? i do only see him late night when he’s horny and i’m bored.

so…. three times now, only the first one any good, and here’s the thing. he still hasn’t fucked me. i mean, sex is sex and all that, but no actual intercourse. and i like intercourse. i even asked him the second time but didn’t think that much of it it when he chose another option. now, though, it’s starting to seem a little weird.

i’ll see if he’s free next week when i have some time and don’t need to be up early, maybe invite him out toy shopping, that ought to open up the conversation.