b-boy also checked in. might end up 3 for 4 nights this week.

last night? ex-boy. in town for the last two weeks. did I mention I like sex?

this is sex and longing and comfort. that’s all.

it’s entirely possible. since this blog now seems to be entirely focused on my getting laid, well, I saw him again last night. he needs a name here. booty boy? i do only see him late night when he’s horny and i’m bored.

so…. three times now, only the first one any good, and here’s the thing. he still hasn’t fucked me. i mean, sex is sex and all that, but no actual intercourse. and i like intercourse. i even asked him the second time but didn’t think that much of it it when he chose another option. now, though, it’s starting to seem a little weird.

i’ll see if he’s free next week when i have some time and don’t need to be up early, maybe invite him out toy shopping, that ought to open up the conversation.

not even my type, but what can i say? he was there and he made his interest clear right away. probably an asshole and not particularly attractive to me, but he does know how to touch. i like that firm touch, someone who knows what they want. he was way more attentive than i’ve had recently. i even had an orgasm – and i almost never do that on a first date. (this is not the place to discuss badannie’s trust issues, dear reader, we’re going to gloss right over that.)

how it started: his fingers were salty from the food and he offered them to me (remember this is about 30 minutes after we’d met!). i declined but he said, you have to admit it was a romantic gesture. i said yes but it really was just that i didn’t want the salt. so he brushes off the salt, dips his finger in the olive oil and offers me that instead. wow. ballsy. and what did badannie do? i took that finger right in my mouth and licked it. guess that pretty much set the stage.

he and m. went off to another party and i admit i spent a good part of the rest of the day thinking about that finger and what it could do.

later: late night visit, making out with a giant thunderstorm in the background. sex, sleep, sex again very early in the morning. and yep, couldn’t stop myself from starting up a third again later. earlier in the evening i had paid him $4 to take his clothes off – joking, of course, but i made him keep it the next day so he could be my man whore.

did m. set this up as a pity fuck? who cares. i liked it and i needed it. badannie doesn’t want him as a boyfriend but i wouldn’t mind another roll or two before we go on our way.

Bad Annie had a bad dream. The kind where you do bad things.

My friend and I were going hiking on an overnight trip. We stopped at this low-rent hotel where we’d apparently been before (some of our stuff was in the drawers). My friend reminds me that we have to leave right away to make sure we hit the scramble while it’s still light, but of course I then have to pee first.

This part of the dream gets boring and I hesitate to note to the gentle reader that I often have this kind of dream, searching for a toilet but it’s dirty or busy or whatever. Whatever. Let’s skip the psychoanalysis for now.

I finally succeed and return to the room — and it’s almost dark outside, my friend is mad and lying on the bed. I apologize but I know I’ve fucked up, essentially ruined the whole trip. I sit down on the bed and note that if it’s already this dark we weren’t going to make it anyway. He says yeah, he knows, but he’s just pissed. I acknowledge it silently, close my eyes, and realize he’s kissing the top of my head. What? This has never happened before, he’s married, we’re not that kind of friends. I open my eyes and he’s looking at me, and then he’s kissing me for real, a little gentle and exploratory but unmistakably a real kiss. WTF. I kiss back mostly out of reflex but there’s a weird emotionality to it and my first thought is, well, we can’t take this back.

I had an IUD for over 5 years, and I had it removed last month. I immediately began my first period in 5+ years. Today is the second. HOLY SHIT I forgot how bad this can be. I’m bleeding so much I’m afraid to fall asleep. I’ve forgotten all my survival tactics other than advil and calcium. I ate half a can of cashews. I’m still starving and I hurt all over. WTF.

On the other hand, I think I really did miss being this in touch with my body. It must have changed my hormones and pheromones and any other ‘mones I got… I’m getting more interest from men, not that I’m interested at the moment, but still.

so i’ve had the post-sex and i’ve had the re-ex. time for more!

really, is there anything better? you know each other’s needs so well and yet have so little left at stake. really good, really nice sex. i needed that! it’s right up there with first-time hottie sex.

yes, I thought he didn’t want me any more. yes, i was pissed at him. but what are my choices? stay mad or get laid? what do you think I chose?

oh yes, bad annie got laid all damn week.

bad annie was very bad last night. what’s with all these young boys? I really, truly don’t think I have a thing for them — but there I was, drunk and really in no shape to be exercising judgment. When he kissed me, well, bad annie’s been on a dry spell, I kissed him right back. and then I took him home. I knew it was bad while I was doing it but I just so needed this milestone to be behind me. it was good to be naked with someone again. He talked about love! ex-boy never once used that word in my presence except that one time talking about his ex. anyway i hope he had fun and i hope he doesn’t take it any more seriously than that. he’s a valuable employee, i’d had to make uncle d. have choose between us.